Winning against AMD
4.2 Sometimes carers can care too much.
The role of being a carer is difficult. They can be over-protective, over-careful whereas they just need to be supportive.
They want to help so much and are distraught at seeing the trouble their loved one is having. They rush to do it for them.
Conversely they might laugh at their paltry efforts or even laugh at the very idea.
If we are going to get our self-reliance and self-confidence back we need to continuously test our limits, test our skills, test our capabilities and even test our courage.
Courage here means to go into a room full of people when you know you won`t recognise anyone. Words like determination, stubbornness, and a refusal to be beaten.
Occasionally we will get it wrong and cover the table in tomato sauce, or pour too much tonic into the gin. These don`t matter but we need to develop our resilience and ignore any embarrassment. And then ask for another gin!
My long-suffering wife has had to watch me go out alone knowing I have difficulty crossing a road safely, that I can`t read signs, street names or temporary notices. She eventually accepted that I had to work it out for myself.
My particular worry is for the carers who cause their loved ones to become utterly dependent on them. It can be accidental but sometimes not.
Carers can also be thoughtless:
- Being taken one way and brought back another (which means we won`t have learned the route).
- By putting things in a new place, (Oh, horror of horrors).
- By expecting us to know what they bought and where they put them etc.
So what, we love them and are delighted to have their help when needed.
Winning against AMD – Age-related Macular Degeneration